


She Blinded You

by CupOfRamen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cutting, Death, Heavy Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Suicidal Oikawa, iwaoi angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:16:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8925616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CupOfRamen/pseuds/CupOfRamen
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime had a girlfriend.Oikawa Tooru was left alone.





	1. Oikawa.

_"Iwa-chan!" she beamed happily as she ran up to Iwaizumi's side. "I baked cookies for you!"_

_"Ah, thank you!" Iwaizumi scratched his neck, embarrassed. A light blush coated his tanned cheeks._

_"Haha, no problem Iwa-chan!" she chuckled and ran off, back in the direction of school._

_"Iwa-chan, who was that?" Oikawa smirked. "Your girlfriend?"_

_"No, Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi slapped Oikawa on the back of his head, but you could see Iwaizumi's bright red blush. "Just a girl from class."_   

 

Just a girl from your class, huh. Oikawa sadly smiled as he pulled a knife off of his dresser. Unsheathing the blade, Oikawa rolled up his sleeve and lightly pressed down on his pale skin. Blood trickled down his wrist. Oikawa pressed harder and pulled roughly, thinking of Iwaizumi and that girl.  _Slice._

 

 _Oikawa opened the door to Iwaizumi's house. Every Friday Oikawa and Iwaizumi would watch a movie and Oikawa would sleep over at Iwaizumi's place. It was_ _their routine, and Oikawa didn't even have to knock. It was always like this. Twisting the doorknob, the door inched open and Oikawa's jaw immediately tightened. "Oh. Sorry," Oikawa_ _hissed. "I must be interrupting something."_

 _"Oikawa- wait-" Iwaizumi and her broke apart, both of them breathing heavily._ _Oikawa slammed the wooden door shut._

_I shouldn't even be upset about this, he thought as he ran, So why am I crying?_

 

Oikawa locked the door of his cold, dark, and empty bedroom. He bitterly smiled. "Here I am again." 

He rolled up his sleeve and stared at the scarred arm. 

He didn't even know the name of the girl who caused him this pain.

The girl who stole Iwaizumi.

He didn't know anything.

Silent tears slipped down his face as he reached for the knife.

_Slice._

 

_Iwaizumi punched Oikawa in the back during practice. "Oi! Shittykawa!"_

_Oikawa glanced at Iwaizumi, not saying a word._

_Iwaizumi's voice dropped to a low whisper. "_ _Tooru, what's wrong."_

_"Don't call me that," Oikawa's long suppressed anger bubbled up inside of him._

_"Oikawa-" Iwaizumi started._

_"Don't talk to me!" Oikawa's voice rose to a shout, fury embedded in his words. He raised a fist, grabbing Iwaizumi's shirt collar. It felt as if the world slowed_ _down._

_A solid crack echoed across the gym as Oikawa's fist made contact._

 

"I fucked up," Oikawa sobbed. "He hates me now- if he didn't already."

Oikawa's hand formed a fist.

He could feel the anger forming, rising up in his chest. He needed to let it out.

With all his strength, he punched his bedroom wall. A large crack started to spread. Blood poured out of his knuckles, and his hand was definitely broken. Pain seared through his body, but Oikawa ignored it as he repeatedly punched the wall.

He couldn't play volleyball anymore, but that was alright. His purpose for playing was gone, after all.

It was taken away.

 

_"I would like to quit volleyball." Oikawa bowed, head down as he talked to his coach._

_"You- what?" Seijou's coach stared in disbelief at the captain of the volleyball team._

_"I would like to quit." Oikawa repeated in the same monotone voice, raising his head to look at his coach._

_"But-" the coach stuttered._

_"Do you think I can even play like this?" Oikawa motioned to his broken hand. "And that's not my only reason for leaving."_

_"I'll tell the team you quit," the coach frowned. "But may I ask why-"_

_"No." Oikawa harshly declined the unfinished question._

_"Alright. Have a good year, Oikawa."_

_"Same to you."_

 

Oikawa abandoned his reason for living.

He had abandoned everything; his hopes, dreams, failures, the love of his life- Iwaizumi Hajime. It was too late now. Iwaizumi was gone, and he was not coming back. It was all because of her, the girl that had no name to Oikawa, the girl that took Iwaizumi Hajime away.

He was gone and he was not coming back.

 

_"Hey Iwa-chan!" six-year old Oikawa grinned at his close friend._

_"What, Oikawa?" six-year old Iwaizumi turned to face Oikawa. "Don't tell me it's about aliens again-"_

_"When we grow up... we'll still be best friends, right?" Oikawa rubbed his thumb nervously._

_"... Of course." Iwaizumi smiled._

_"Yay!" all traces of worry left Oikawa's face. "Let's get married when we grow up, Iwa-chan!"_

_"Ehh? No!" Iwaizumi blushed._

_All thoughts about the future vanished suddenly, because when the future approaches, it also means the present will end._

 

The ocean waves crashed and roared underneath the bridge where Oikawa Tooru stood. The sky was gray, blocked by dark clouds. A light rain poured down, soaking Oikawa's messy hair and ruffled outfit. Wind blew the sleeves of Oikawa's jacket up, and it revealed many scars, some old and scabbed and some fresh and new. Oikawa's eyes that were once joyful and perfect were now dull, lifeless, and empty.

"Iwaizumi Hajime." Oikawa spoke, his voice was hoarse and scratchy from days of not speaking. "I love you, but she blinded you."

And Oikawa Tooru jumped.

 

 

 


	2. Iwaizumi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you know who Oikawa Tooru is?" 
> 
> Iwaizumi's heart rate quickened. "Yes, what about him?"
> 
> "He's dead."

Iwaizumi Hajime was doing well. He was doing fine. He had a happy life, and a happy lover. She was perfect.

His life was perfect. Maybe not perfect, but he was enjoying what he did.

"Hajime?" Her sweet, silvery voice called. "Dinner's ready!"

Iwaizumi rose up from his comfy position on the sofa. He turned off the TV, which was really just for background noise. He smoothed down his shirt, which was an old birthday present from Oikawa. It was plain white but had a small alien head on the sleeve. Oikawa had said it matched an old shirt he had when he was younger. Oikawa, huh. 

_What happened to him?_

Iwaizumi remembered the last year of high school. He had started dating. Oikawa started avoiding him, and eventually, well, punched him. 

He remembered the sudden words of the coach. 

_"Oikawa has quit the team."_

He remembered confusion, worry, regret, and guilt.

What was he guilty for, though?

Oikawa then disappeared.

It was strange.

"Hajime?" Her voice called again.

"Right. I'm coming! Sorry!" Iwaizumi brushed off all of the thoughts about Oikawa. "One second, I'm going to go change!" 

"Alright! Come quick before dinner gets cold!"

Iwaizumi made his way to the bedroom he shared with his girlfriend. He chose a black t-shirt that he bought a few months ago. He pulled off the t-shirt that Oikawa had given him and threw it to the back of his closet. 

He walked over to the kitchen. "Thank you. This smells delicious."

•

"Hajime, someone's on the phone. They're asking for you," 

Iwaizumi frowned. Who could be calling? If it was someone he knew, she would tell him who it was. Iwaizumi took the phone from her. "Hello?"

"Iwaizumi Hajime, correct?" a deep voice responded.

"Yes," Iwaizumi walked towards the living room, shoving one hand into his pocket.

"Do you know who Oikawa Tooru is?" 

Iwaizumi's heart rate quickened. "Yes, what about him?"

"He's dead."

Silence. Iwaizumi's head felt like it was submerged in water. He couldn't hear anything. 

"No. I mean- he can't, he's only 23, it's not like," Iwaizumi paused. "It's not like he's- actually dead, right? Is this a joke?"

"This is not a joke. He was found today. We suspect that he may have jumped off a bridge, committing suicide. We believe that he jumped when he was 19 or 20."

"He's been dead for three years?" Iwaizumi felt a wave of emotion roll over him- shock, fear, and regret.

It's always regret.

"He left a note for you, Iwaizumi."

"What does it say?" Iwaizumi almost didn't want to know. He was afraid. He felt like crying. 

"We sent it over by mail. It should arrive soon. Be sure to check."

"Alright. Thank you." 

Iwaizumi hung up. 

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit." 

Iwaizumi tasted salt.  _I'm probably crying._

"Hajime?" Her worried voice called out. "Are you okay?"

"FUCK." Iwaizumi curled his fist. "He's  _dead._ He's  _DEAD._ "

**[two days later]**

"Hajime. A letter addressed to you," Her voice was quiet as she held out a letter to him. Iwaizumi hadn't eaten much during the two days. It was like he was in a daze.

"Thank you." Iwaizumi took the letter, barely acknowledging her.

She left while he opened the envelope.

It was definitely Oikawa's writing on the small scrap of paper.

_Iwa-chan,_

_I love you._

Tears slipped down his face. He had to bite his lip to keep him from screaming. He tasted blood and tears.

"Fuck. Dumbass Tooru." he whispered. "I love you too."

The truth was, she was a replacement. A stand in.

When he kissed her, he imagined Oikawa.

Her light brown hair. Her eyes. Her brown eyes.

Like Oikawa. Oikawa Tooru.

He was kissing the wrong person.

Regret. Regret, regret, regret.

It was always regret.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOO!  
> so due to some requests i made a part two!!!!!! hopefully people will read it lmao  
> i mean,,,,, was it good???????? did you CRY??????????????  
> you probably didn't cry sorry for my bad writing  
> haha that was fun i spent like a whole morning writing a paragraph and then procrastinating lol  
> how did you like it???? leave a comment please it makes me really happy

**Author's Note:**

> i sorry that i cant make u bawl ur tears out like other authors can  
> i really want to but its impossible for me


End file.
